consequences

by cjra

(1) unpacking the harassment directed towards me in the past and how it affects life now (2) meant two nights ago cold lying in bed realizing that this is the reason i am afraid of almost everyone (3) they are all going to sow some kind of seed against me (4) get angry when i do one thing wrong/laugh at me when i leave for the restroom because they know i’m crying/and all that goddamn whispering-manipulation (5) the girls&boys i had to look or walkfast away from & scraping pit of dread starting at the throat ending in the stomach (6) it’s a wonder i didn’t pull someone’s hair out our climb over the windowsill or kick my teachers in the shins for not noticing (7) there’s all of this, yeah. and maybe being with people can get better as long as it’s all kept in mind.

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