“we share many things.”

by cjra

my father is shy, just like me. 

although, in small groups he may not seem that way. he’s much more outgoing, willing to impress, or maybe more open to laughter than i am–something like that (think the dad from full house except a little more outdoorsy and loud). but today over waffles and eggs at the diner, he told me if his friends hadn’t dragged him to that college party all those years ago, he never would have met my mother. he never would have pursued anyone. i think of her and how she wrote that it was love at first sight, that she had other boyfriends in the past, but nothing compared to my father. she knew he was the sweetest person she had ever met. 

in a way, with our stories, this behavior makes perfect sense. i said “my new year’s resolution is to try more things that could make me happy / i’m almost 25, i’ve never dated anyone you know that / i’m lonely / i still like him but he has a girlfriend. i screwed up.”

i told him that i had wanted that story for myself–to say of you “we met in college, in class together. we graded each other’s essays. we sat right next to each other.” when he drove me back home, i explained how i heard my chances were officially over two weeks ago. my throat started closing up and i couldn’t handle saying anything else other than “i was so upset. i was so upset.” 

he squeezed my hand and stated, “i just want you to be happy.”

i blinked a few more times. “i know. i know.”