by cjra

i know myself. i know i get too easily infatuated. i feel too much too quickly. maybe, aside from simply being human, it comes from some kind of inferiority complex. low self-esteem. where even if i know i’m only interested in someone physically for now, it gets too important or heavy if i don’t keep my imagination in check. so it’s only fair that i do, so things don’t end up like last time with someone else.

to describe it: the feeling seems like an endless loop or track–it’s fed by the body, by emotions, expectation. and stories. and if i’m not careful, that little wheel going inside me will swell up and everything will become lesser in comparison. but you have to love yourself enough to realize when it is happening. to peel parts of yourself back to understand why.

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