apricot milk

. . . like apples of gold in pictures of silver — memory, etc.

Month: February, 2013

promise i’m still here

i am still around and still want to write. all the time. but no energy. i will stick to telling you my dreams, if i sleep long enough to have any. x



i suppose i would still like to be a part of your life, and that could be pathetic, but i don’t think it is. it means i’d like to move further away from this attachment, to accept whatever it was that happened and then didn’t.

right now, my roommate is making the most delicious dinner. she made slits into a long loaf of bread for melted cheese, she strained the pasta. the smell is music to my nose. all day i slept and drank tea, hot chocolate, thought about getting into a csa program for delivered weekly vegetables. i’ve been so tired lately but everything sounds good and full of this thing i need.

excerpts from letting yourself feel at 12AM:

honestly, i want to forget about you, or, how you made me feel all those sweet cold winters ago. i was a bruised plum under your shoe. you didn’t know at all. i want your soft smile. i want that mouth curve under my tongue. some times, i feel like i might start laughing. or running in the rain. burning off whatever this ball of hotness is in my gut. this knowing, this need. [–] i want to fall into salt water. make my skin clean and cold like marble. clear and perfect.