the train is going by slowly and i’m

by cjra

the train is going by slowly and i’m waiting for it to stop rattling so i can go to bed. there aren’t many new things happening right now, i’m just maintaining this steady go to sleep get work done (sort of) momentum and thus why no writing. maybe i will write again soon, for real, but there’s nothing new. no boy, although we talk on the phone about small things. and there was a date with someone else a couple of weeks ago, it just wasn’t much other than how good the peanut sauce at the restaurant was. we may have talked about destinies in astrology and the writing process, but the merely friendly connection was short-lived. i have one month to go before graduating and i’ve been truly conflicted about my plans after that point. but for now it’s just get through it and everything (like hopes and dreams of creating things) might work out. and thanks to a good essay, i’ve been thinking quite a bit about whiteness, and about culture, and about creative space and autobiography as self transforming but those thoughts are for another night; eyes are too much on the edge of sleep. see you soon.