by cjra

i thought to myself for a long time with nothing in my hands and an engine rumbling under my legs. this morning was cold, but not so bad. although the coffee lost its heat five minutes after waiting for the bus. a thought i’ve been having is

‘what if everything i’m thinking right now is what i’m actually saying’ in a way

and everyone around me ignores it & they ignore it. is this a bad thing to think or what someone breaking up or down thinks? my therapist told me i’ve placed everything in tiny boxes. so when we go into them, when we work our arms over them, we might dream about being underground. or almost pulling on our mother’s hands.

i try to focus on things that seem constant. like the flock of geese calling this morning over the parking lot, the radio towers on the hills and their slow red blinking. makes me look forward to going somewhere. ever since i was a girl lying in the backseat, watching the powerlines move in waves against blue sky.